FA-LA-LA-L-LA LA-FRICKING-LA .....
I've always had a love-hate relationship with Christmas ...Mostly hate....I used to be so caught up in the push behind it all. The Holy air of all things expected was suffocating. Countless tears scanning drug stores trying to not spend a fortune on stockings, returning sweaters that I knew they would never wear, standing in line to hear my name for coffee as some mark of existence, racing between family homes staring out the car window counting breaths .... for what?
Either people are bitching and moaning about how much it sucks ... orPeople are crazed with frolicking in the tinsel and twinkle lights ... orThere are those who slink into the shadows and wait out the marketing mayhem of consumer mania, while trying not to rekindle old addictions and flirt with new ones. The weight of guilt and shame is heavier than the artery clogging gravy, all served with a sparking smile of Christmases long long ago....
It doesn't have to be this way.
I found a wonderful path through Christmas as soon as I let go of expectations.... mostly everyone else's of me, but also many of my own.It's hidden in the Christmas message - of all denominations and marketing ploys ....
What do you want for Christmas?
Good Will Towards Men? Peace, Love and Joy? Family? Hope? Gleeful Children? Pleased Parents? Acceptance? Inclusion? Exclusion? Peaceful gatherings? Unconditional love?
..... but what do you REALLY want ?
We get to choose ... but the sneaky secondary dramatic, is claiming that we don't get to have what we want, and some of us, don't get the hope to even consider it. But that's the lie.
What are there obstacles that inhibit you from getting what you want?
If your circumstances are in your way, have a solid look at them. Leave the bigger choices for a gentler time of year, when you can make clear and calm strategic decisions. Discard the pieces that are disposable; then have a look at the circumstances that are left; now, take the power back and make your choices accordingly to what you want.
If other people are in your way, have a really solid look at them and what it is that you are expecting from them. They have the freedom and the right to live their life as they see fit. How you respond to this is on you, not them. They could be cruel and unkind, but the effect is on you. They could be triggering the guilt and shame that lingers within you, that's on you not them. Have a look at what it is that you are wanting from them and take your choices back. There could be deep grieving here, acknowledge this.
If your idea of what Christmas SHOULD be, is what you want, take a big step back and decide for yourself. Look at your beliefs, your nostalgia, your moments of glee ... perhaps they don't reside in what you have been lead to think - what ... do ... you ... really ... want?
The hidden pathway through the Holiday Season,is in the reclamation of your choices.Let go of the expectations of yourselfLet go of the expectations of othersand gift yourself what you really want
*** if you or someone you know is hurting this season, feeling overwhelmed and alone - take a moment and reach out to someone you trust... you can e-mail me anytime or call 211 for immediate help ***
*************************************************
Journal Questions
~ What do you want this Holiday Season - not what you don't want - but what you really want?
~ What are the obstacles in your way? who is in your way?
Are you putting expectations that exceed the realities?
~ What strategies do you need to develop through the next year, for a better Holiday Season?
